Sunday, June 7, 2009

Redwall. Something like reading about a brick wall?

Okay. Since seventh grade I've heard nothing but accolades for Brian Jacques's Redwall and have never read it. Now i'm ten years older and a quarter of the way through the book, and i'm bored to tears. For about fifteen minutes I've searched high and low through book reviews seeing if anyone else in the world dislikes it quite like I do, and the result leaves me a little lonely. Am I an ogre? First, there's only so much rodent chivalry I can handle. If you're going to write a book about mice and badgers, make it good. Now, The Wind in the Willows, that was quality animal fiction. I suppose if animals are talking and carrying on like humans in any story, it has to be above average to get me to enjoy it. I'm more willing to care about characters in a story if they're bigger than my thumb.

I mean, I find fieldmice just as cute as the next person finds them, but, I'd rather see them scuttling across a dirt road doing normal mouse things, like eating, not thinking, and scaring the mercy out of my Grandmother. (Not that I want to see my Grandmother terrified...)

I hate starting books and not finishing them. I hate it. It makes me feel like an unfinished person. I can't stand starting a story and not finishing it. But I think it's something I've got to get over, because...there are more books out there like Catcher in the Rye and I'd rather spend my time in that arena. Maybe it's because I have a hard time starting books. Maybe my brain's still on hiatus from graduating and all. But I flew through Catcher, because it was good from the get-go, it made me think, it made me wonder and relate and I loved it.

And okay, one more thing. There may be swearing in Catcher in the Rye, there might be some questionable material, but it is not to be written off. The book is phenomenal. Holden swears because...he swears. Because he's a kid who has never realized it's bad to swear. You see a messed up world through his eyes and it's enlightening. It's worthwhile, because there are Holdens in our lives, in our world. There's a little bit of Holden in us. And it might be beneficial to slip into the kid's mind so we as Christians, as humans, can understand/deal with our sicknesses and the desperate longings in others'.

Stepping down off my soapboxes and inviting your criticisms...
until next time.

Friday, March 27, 2009

The Sinus Smashing Adventures of Shnoz Girl.

A children's book is in the making.

Just wanted to update the world today on the things that have been reaching my nostrils.
People laugh when I tell them I have big nostrils, and then they say: "You don't have big nostrils! They're normal!" As if them telling me this is going to make my nose holes shrink to normal size. It's just not happening, people. I've learned to deal with it, and so should you!

My breathing apparati should be a character in an Adventure book. I mean, whereas other people may experience frustration when they realize their pen is on the other side of the room and they need to do homework!... me, myself can simply: brace myself, position my shnoz and...inhale. Voila! Presto! Pen in hand. Or in face, if I don't time it right.

But, all that to say this...
I was walking to french class and rounding the corner near cafe a la carte when I fragranced a fragrance that exploded a memory in my head. The memory? high school cafeteria. But not in the cafeteria. Remember the way you could always smell what you were going to have for lunch when you were in trigonometry? Well, then again, maybe that was just me. track record and all.

Anyway, someone had been microwaving some sort of garlic noodle mess in the community microwave in DeMoss. Does that strike anyone as odd? Here in our cathedral of learning, smack dab in the center, sits a microwave for common use.

I'm not a fan. Especially when I'm taken down memory lane to my alma mater. Though, this may be white noise as I'm realizing I may have been the only one who sniffed it. Again...seriously, look at me! Don't try to tell me they're not big. I know.

This is where I leave you. Until next time. I'll smell you before I see you.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Pause for Effect

Hello, world. Or, more accurately, all two of you who may be reading...

The most exciting thing that this day is that anytime, any minute now...My roomate will spin around in her chair, fix her gaze in my direction, wait a moment for dramatic pause and spit out in a retarted accent...
"Are you ready to watch Lord of the Rings?"

And I'll say. "Could we?"

The other exciting thing about today was that I flipped the basket on my desk over on its side and put all my fancy books (O Henry, Me Myself and Bob, ...okay that's not fancy, A Nelson Basic Reader, plaid journal and an old copy of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales) and a vase inside of it. My thought is, if I pretend I'm smart, maybe I'll be a little smarter.

Something that is not exciting about today, is that I bought a four pack of Fruit Ices in my freezer. And they...are not freezing. I mean...What am I paying these people for?! Liquid fruit...uhm, stuff? No! I think not!

Oh, I gotta go. The glorious has just happened.

Goodbye to you.