Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Lightning bugs or fireflies?

This blog post probably won't be funny. I'll tell you that right now. So, maybe I'll tell you a joke first and then I'll get into the blog so you won't feel utterly cheated.
Why does a giraffe have a long neck? .... To reach its head.
Okay. Done.

I don't know how theologically sound this is...but I feel a lot of times God communicates with me through His creation. There have been several instances where I've felt "spoken to" through very subtle "small, still voice" experiences.

A particular one I'd like to share with you now, because it means a lot to me and because I want to. Several individuals (cough)Jen(cough) I know I've told this story to already a ka-zillion times probably want to quit now.

The summer after my sophomore year of college I was really depressed. Mainly because I was on a medicine...that made me wicked depressed. When I went back to school, it gave me anxiety and almost made me drop out of college, but that's a different story altogether. Back to the summer. For some reason that summer I only worked 3 hours a day, 3 days a week. So I had no money and I basically sat home the whole summer and at this point I can't even really remember it that well. I was horribly depressed and horribly lonely and lost about my whole "calling" in life...what the heck was I going to do with it?

One night, lying on my bed, not being able to sleep...I reached the pinnacle of what I could stand. Being a very reasonable and wise, mature believer in Christ I cried out: "What the heck is wrong with you, God?!" I poetic. I told Him I had no idea what He was doing, or what I was doing...why I felt this way, or how in the world I could continue. I had given up on finding answers to my questions and all I wanted was to know I wasn't alone. So I begged for Him to show me I wasn't alone and that help would come.

As soon as I finished praying - and I know it wasn't there before, but in the middle of the pitch darkness right after I opened my eyes a lightning bug lit up the room right in front of me.  It blinked around my room for a couple minutes and then I fell asleep and I knew I wasn't alone. I never had been and I never would be.

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