Tuesday, August 14, 2007

The Low

I'm a student spiritual leader at my university, which requires me to have arrived early at school for orientations. Lots of people speaking at me. For long periods of tme. I think i've discovered in the past year that I'm a visual learner, which may mean that being required to listen for a long time makes me wither. Wither is a good word. I start out fresh and crisp (crisp?) and with every other word i become stale and wilted. Like lettuce. Like lettuce put in the refrigerator in a subway sub. Who honestly eats decrepent (i spelled that wrong) lettuce? Well that's how i felt. Slimy, wilted and dead.

Anyway, I sometimes feel like i'm the only Christian who feels like this while sitting in those sessions. And maybe it's just because i struggle hearing people tell me what i need to do to be a good christian. I'm not a rebel. I'm not at all. I just become entirely discouraged after listening to those sessions. How to pray, how if i dont get up to pray at 5a.m. i'm an irresponsible christian. It makes me want to run away and it makes me regret the choice to be a leader. Don't get me wrong. I very much enjoy being a resource for people...I enjoy being able to be there for them, to encourage them. But listening to four hours of "who I should be" makes me think maybe i'm not a christian at all. I feel like i'm the only one who thinks this. It's discouraging. It's the Low.

I did manage to sketch some fun stuff though. Here they are.

I'm a personal fan of the fish. The End.


Rebekah said...

i like the doodles under the fill in the blank how-to-be-a-leader workbook....
and don't worry... the low will be over soon... because i will come back and be so rebellious and bad that you won't be able to help but think, "i can't be that bad after all!"
hehe... i miss you lizbert... i can't wait to see you in 3 (4?) days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
be happy.

Liz said...

Hey Rebekah! Thanks for your comment :) Now that's a good idea, rebellion! Says your SLD :) Just kidding :) i'm really looking foreward for you to come back. It's painful here without you! Haha